I prayed for peace with whatever I was about to face but my main concern was my family. I didn't want to tell my Mama, my kids or coworkers bad news and cause them to worry. Tears were welling and the devil was stalking nearby, wanting me to stay focused on how much hurt and pain I was probably about to cause them. I wanted to block it out and again, I sought The Lord's reassurance. The devil kept pressing me to believe that I was deceitful for telling almost nobody where I really going today. My husband knew, a few coworkers, and The Lord. I continued that long drive and finally reached my hometown where I briefly found relief. I was reminded of home.
The tears had almost subsided and I decided to stop in for breakfast. A lump in my throat nearly constricted my voice as the devil placed fear right back in my bones. I managed to order, drive forward, and begin the tears again. I dropped down my sunglasses and pretended to be okay until I got to the cashier. As she was gathering my order, I noticed the lady standing near her. I recognized her as a local, we went to the same high school, she was much younger but through social media, I get to see that she is very active in my hometown community. She's a strong Christian, works in the hedges and the highways to serve her Lord and she was familiar. She reminded me of HOME.
I think if I had just opened my mouth I would have screamed, "I'm scared!!! I am terrified!!!Pray for me and my family!!!" But I couldn't speak. I reached out to hand the cashier money and she handed me my food saying, "Your meal has been paid for and you have these people to thank."
Oh, I was confused for a second, thanked the girl and drove up. As I reached the end of the parking lot, I looked down and saw this....
It was from the lady, that familiar lady from school. I started laughing. That wonderful spiritual laugh when you know you are crying your eyes out because The Lord just did ALL OF THAT for you. HE had already been planning that way ahead of time. He placed her there for me. She was serving The Lord and look what a Blessing she was to me. Again, I was reminded of HOME. I drove many miles more until the uneasy set in again. I progressed closer and closer to the hospital and my blood pulsed faster, my hands were sweating and the lump was back in my throat. The devil was wanting so hard for me to fall apart and I was trying my best not to cave.
As I was turning onto that final road that led me to the hospital, I was feeling guilty for not telling my kids or my mother where I was and what I was doing but I knew they would worry, and that wouldn't help anything. Just as the tears started to pool in my eyes again, something overhead caught my eye. It was a large flock of geese. If you ever read my story "The Calling of the Geese" then you know how special this was to me. I smiled so big my heart filled with happy. This too reminded me of HOME.
I walked into that appointment with my head held high. It didn't matter what the results were going to be, I was going to deal with it. It didn't matter what I had to go back and face my family with, I was going to deal with it. I sat next to an elderly lady and bless her heart she was more nervous than me. She wore fright upon her face so I smiled at her, spoke to her slowly, and enjoyed our few minutes together. I walked out of there with a good report this time and I'm thankful for that but as close as The Lord was the whole time...the devil was riding my skirt tale. I am so Blessed this day that The Lord took time, and reminded me of HOME.
((and thank you to the lady, not just for buying my breakfast, but for being who you are, just keep minding The Lord))