Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Looking for the Grace

Sunday just couldn't get here fast enough for me this past week. Working double the hours I'm accustomed to, getting up at midnight to go help a friend in need Saturday, and the lack of progress on a project I'm working on, had really taken its toll on me. I needed a "do-over".

Leaving a sick child and an injured husband behind, I stumbled into church because I'd had a bad week. With my daughter by my side, we walked in and took our seats. As the room filled, songs began to permeate the air. I looked to my left and saw a cancer survivor with her daughter close behind her. With her grandchildren seated all over the church, she had a slight smile upon her face as she sang the words, she was just happy to be there on that pew.

From behind me, a voice was heard full of renewed strength, determination, and she too had survived cancer, and was happy to be there. I sat shamefully as I had merely survived a week of the average, and I actually walked in asking for a do-over.

I saw a young lady walk to the front of the church to lead a song and just when she'd almost completed her journey down the aisle, she looked over her left shoulder and said, "Maw Maw, will you come help us."

I thought of how wonderful it was that her grandmother could still stand by her side. I listened to them sing, and at that moment, there was nothing better. I could feel my chest rising with each breath, but it felt like His hand had reached down inside me to give me air when I felt smothered. Chill bumps covered my entire body but I was not cold. Within four or five cleansing moments, I realized why I was there.

I was grateful for the fact that I was healthy enough to walk through those doors. I was grateful for the fact that I had someone who needed me, even at midnight on a Saturday. I was grateful that I had a job, and that it provided food for my children and I was grateful that the Lord had blessed me with a project that I will continue at His Will. I was proud of the way I had handled the situations I'd been faced with this past week, even though I was physically drained.

As I sat on pew, I realized that I had in fact wasted much of my week viewing the unpleasant, when all I had to do was look for the Grace. As I prayed, I asked Him for a do-over. A week in which I can hear sweet giggles from my kids, a week in which I smell the richness of life, and a week in which I see the meadows instead of just empty fields. I am just happy to be here, and I'm grateful for do-overs as I spend my week looking for the Grace this time.

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