Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Book

As I walked through my yard today, looking at all that He's given to me, an odd and random thought crossed my mind. I wondered what I would save, if I could rescue only three non-living items should I be blind-sided with a disaster. Assuming He let me keep my children, I tried to think of random things throughout my house...pictures? No, I wouldn't choose pictures. I am lucky that I don't rely on photographs for memories, although I do love pictures...I just could pass on those.

I thought about the fire. What did I grab when my house caught on fire? I grabbed my kids, and their hearing devices. That's it, nothing else. I think the firemen may have thought I was a little crazy when I stood in my yard smiling as smoke filled the air. Tin swelled and bent up on the roof from the heat below it. At the time, I was so thankful that The Lord allowed me to pick up my tiny children and carry them out of the smoke without harm. I walked away from that disaster with a greater appreciation for the important things. I learned the difference between the things I possess, and things I carry. If it didn't walk out that door with me, it was gifted to me by Him soon after...and for that, I am thankful.

I looked around my yard, thought about items in the house but every time something would enter my thoughts, it was pushed aside. I began to think of characteristics, traits, behaviors, culture, knowledge within myself...that I carry. Did I have enough within any three of those that would be worth preserving, saving and passing down. That feeling began to creep up from the bottom of my toes and fill the inside of me, knowing He was around me.

I was drawn to tears when I realized that I did have something I would want to save...my Maw Maw's Bible. The one that was given back to me after her death...the one I gave her as a gift when I was just a child...the one I never expected to get back, or own.

I hid my tears as my family came back from their four wheeler ride. I smiled and pulled down my sun glasses but my thoughts were still on Him as I realized that The Book is a very important part of me that is missing. I barely can even read the thing, but the more I attend my little country church, the more I learn. I am truly amazed and Blessed that He believes in me just like I believe in Him. He knows I can learn, He knows I can do what He asks me to do. I used to try and throw my hands up at The Book because my half-hearted attempts to read a verse here and there beared little fruit...and that was my own fault. But just like our Pastor and other church members have said many times, "I'm as close to Him as I want to be." I may not deserve it, but He is always giving to me. Thank you Lord for Touching my heart once again.

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