Sunday, July 8, 2012

Disobedience

After barely sleeping during the night, I awoke to an 8 a.m. phone call. My voice barely projected as I tried to speak and rough didn't even begin to describe what lack of uninterrupted sleep will lay upon you as burning eyes try find the coffee. But my child was in pain for most of the night and I gave her the comfort only a mother can provide. But the day had already started without me, and I knew I needed to get to the church house.

With only half of the family, we got in the car and began our drive. I longed to see that white steeple atop my church's roof. It had been a full week since I'd been there and the days of life in-between had really taken a toll on my Spirit, sadly. I could have just stayed home with the ailing child but I already knew HE had something to say to me. I knew with every mile I drove, HE was going to be speaking to me today. I felt like a teen who had disobeyed parents and got caught doing things she wasn't supposed to be doing as I pulled into the parking lot. In fact, I had been doing everything, all week long, EXCEPT what HE had instructed me to do.

I took heavy steps and pretended that it was just an average Sunday as I sat on that pew. A preacher stood up front and read a verse or two:
1Kings 18:44 "And it came to pass at the seventh time, that he said, Behold, there ariseth a little cloud out of the sea, like a man's hand. And he said, Go up, say unto Ahab, Prepare thy chariot, and get thee down, that the rain stop thee not."
My son looked up at me with his mouth dropped open because just two days prior we had seen a cloud in the form of a man's hand just before it rained. It looked very similar to the one I saw a couple of months ago that seemed to reach right down and grab me. I can see as the days go by, small little things touch my child and helps him Believe. He's been praying, and having the prayers answered.

I knew that The Lord had something He needed me to hear, and my ears were open. The Pastor began his sermon soon after Sunday School had ended and immediately I knew, he was talking to me. He was talking about The Lord's specific instructions for us and being obedient. I was told to do something months ago. I knew it would take time, but I've gotten to a point where I have made excuses for allowing distractions to halt the progress of His instructions. When He gave them to me, they were perfectly clear. I still know with certainty that this was His Will and He was the One that told me to do it. However, I've been delayed, and it's all my fault. I have been disobedient. The Pastor's entire sermon was exactly what I'd come for. I needed correction. I needed to know that I'd have consequences for my disobedience. I am ashamed that I would do that to The Lord.

As good as He's been to me, Blessing me so much with each visit of that church, with the little things that make me smile or make me weep outside of church, and I directly disobey. He's prepared me all week for this. He's sent me so many reminders of what I should be doing as opposed to what I find myself doing. I have to refocus this week, and finish what He blessed me with months ago. I can no longer allow activities, people, children, life, to interrupt what He has told me to do. I have no idea what comes next, when I do finish. In my heart I know He won't tell me until I complete the task He told me to do, but I look forward to whatever it is. He's Amazing. It should be my privilege to do what He has asked me to do. I really enjoyed today, I feel refocused on what is important. It may take a lot of praying to keep that focus, but it is something I must do.
~~Refocusing on Obedience~~

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